Sunday, January 15, 2012



people have been spamming this on my newsfeed. But this video doesn't 'deserve' the word "spam". it's about an autistic child who started voicing out her thoughts at the age of 11 with the help of a computer. 11 year old child with flailing arms, unable to communicate with the world, but typed these:

"you don't know what it feels like to be me, when you can't sit still because your legs feel like they are on fire, or it feels like there are a hundred ants crawling up your arms."

"I want something that will put out the fire"

"it's a way for us to drown out all sensory input that overloads us all at once. We create output to block our input."

"our brains are wired differently. We take in many sounds and conversations all at once. I take over a thousand pictures of a person's face when i look at them. That's why we have a hard time looking at people."


"people assume I am dumb because I can't talk. It's hard to be autistic because no one understands me"

"I am autistic, but that is not who I am. Take time to know who I am, before you judge me."

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"it told us that there were a lot more going in there (her mind) than we knew"

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feel like people are honestly not who they appear to be. From her words, she feels just like any normal being trapped in a body with extra sensitive sensory preceptors. Somehow, whatever she had typed (about the "fire in (her) legs" she feels) makes autism seem much less complicated than we think it is. It feels less crazy, more normal. It doesn't feel so much of a "mental retardation", but malfunction of sensory preceptors and the part of the brain that is responsible for these sensations.

Not "retarded".

Many of these mysteries are unlocked with the help of extraordinary cases like hers, and with the support of others. (compare: her and another autistic kid being sent to a mental hospital).

There are so many other things about the human brain we can't decipher, thoughts all in a jumble of red squishy tubes. But they sound so simple scientifically. x part of brain is damaged, therefore patient behaves in an abnormal manner. y part of patient's brain is more active than others, thus this phenomenon occurs.

How do we explain all these? People who feel detached from reality, depression, bipolar disorder. How do we explain these thoughts we all have in our heads, thoughts "normal" people have?

How do we understand everything? I want to know about everything about this world. Especially this "inner" world. Because... because.. I don't know, I'm just drawn to it. Nothing else matters.

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